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A few months ago I finished a knitted hat intended for my brother and still haven't gotten around to sending it to him. Every now and then I feel like I'm doing really good at adult stuff but then all the little things I suck at come creeping up on me.


Dwarven Bonnet as seen on Ravelry. It originally had a knitted beard but I like how the yarn looks more. And yes, I am wearing my pajamas.

I actually did stuff yesterday like change the oil in my car, laundry, made breakfast, and even finally got my eyebrows shaped before going home and playing Skyrim for half the day. I also started pulling apart my kirtle and reshaped the armholes and cut the pattern for the arms. The sleeves tie on so I don't have to be perfect with them, which is nice because I suck at setting in sleeves. I really need to see if they have classes anywhere in the city so that I can get help.

Moving part 1b

Tow truck came around noon and game me the honor paying $90 for him to pull me roughly 15 feet. I got everything moved but managed to vastly underestimate the amount of space I needed for all my stuff and had to rent a second space. Sitting in the hotel watching trash TV now because there isn't anything else to do. I moved everything but my bookcase by myself and am totally pooped. I think I'm going to have to hire somebody to help me actually move into my apartment because I just don't think I can manage that again, especially since my new place is on the third floor.


Jan. 30th, 2014

Wonder of wonders it is moving day. Wake up at the butt crack of dawn. Four inches of snow on the ground. No problem, I have all wheel drive. Go to Uhaul to get trailer. Make it through snow easy enough but decide to get van instead of trailer because shitty weather. Van is rear wheel drive, no traction on roads. Feel like I am going to swerve all over. Get to driveway and get stuck. Swear loudly. Roommate uses truck to push me back. YAY out in street. Stuck. Back wheels spin uselessly. Get very angry and call Uhaul to tell that what a piece of shit they rented me. Get run around. Can't get van out of street. Call tow truck and will eventually get charged $150+ because Uhaul van is a piece of shit. Sit for two hours because there are a billion other people who need to get towed.

I really hope I can get a different truck (one with all wheel because fuck you) and move. Everything is all boxed up and moved into the living room with the exception of my furniture. This is far more expensive than I had intended it to be. I should have just taken the trailer.
I am sick and yet I still feel bad for taking time off work. I literally would sit in the dressing room and read (and get other dancer sick) because nobody wants a sniffly lapdance. Probably wouldn't even be able to make house fee. I am 25 and I have already been conditioned to put more importance on work than my own health.

On a side note I wrote more the other night than I have in probably the last year. Maybe I will actually have the motivation to finish it after I am done moving.

Jan. 16th, 2014

Lots of stuff has happened in the past few months and until 10:00 tonight it was all good. How is it that, despite living in the same house with me, my landlord can't even find a few minutes in the day to ask me a question. Seriously, I've had three days off this week and you couldn't knock on my door to ask me a quick question? As of now he is renting my room out at the beginning of next month, which is fine for the most part except that I don't get the keys for my new apartment until the 6th. I mean, really? I am so fucking happy I am getting out of this place.

I'll probably have to stay in a motel for 7 or so days and rend a U haul, so yay, more expenses I didn't count on. I have the money for it, sure, but I would much rather pay off bills or something. Fuck, I hate roommates. This is also really going to ruin my mojo for work. Customers have been really shitty lately and me being surly isn't going to help that. It would probably be worth it to call off tomorrow but I need the money and I don't have a good excuse. Plus, I think the manager is looking to get rid of girls. We have tons and he just keeps hiring more.

But yes, new apartment. It's a decent sized one bedroom on the third floor and it has a balcony! I can grow plants and everything. I also signed up for a year-long membership to the pole dancing studio today and I am already sore from just one class. Yes, work tomorrow will definitely be fun between the pain and anger. Hopefully the rest of the month will be better.


Dec. 8th, 2013

The new job has been going well. I think most ladies in the profession would roll their eyes at me being happy with what I am making but I am pulling in about $1000 more than I was at my other job while working half the time. I work at a dive, anyway, so I can't expect to have the big rollers coming in everyday to make it rain on me.

On the not so happy side I just got informed that I need to move out at the beginning of January. I need to make some calls Monday and start looking around but there isn't jack shit around for apartments out here right now. It also means I have to move in the middle of winter. I knew the couple I'm renting from were looking to get rid of everyone but I was under the impression that it wasn't supposed to happen until this summer. It really threw me off today seeing as they are currently out in the kitchen, I am hungry, and I just do not want to warm up my soup while they are they. Why so neurotic?

I go in to work today at three so hopefully I can chill the hell out by then.


Lately I have been having a lot of trouble keeping up with the day to day stuff I need to do. I've never been very good with the daily house upkeep type of stuff but I have really been biting the big one lately. I think it's because I am in such a rut and I haven't been able to find the motivation to do the creative things I really enjoy. It also hasn't been very nice out as of late and I think not seeing the sun really gets to me after a while. The sun came out today and it finally got into the 50's today so I cleaned out my garden and raked it up so that it isn't an eyesore once the snow melts in the spring. Not that we have gotten more than flurries, of course, but I'm in Minnesota and it's more a question of when rather than if. I even put a load of laundry in, cleaned out the dishwasher, put all the dishes that have been collecting in my room in the dishwasher, and got food for tomorrow. The latter was mostly because I wanted a doughnut and not because I need food right this moment but what can you do.

I was also able to get a job at a club and have been dancing for two weeks Saturday. So far I have been able to put away over $200. I want to go home for Thanksgiving and that should just about pay my gas there and back. My retail job is still paying the must pay portions of my bills, but I will probably be quitting in a little less than a month and then dancing will have to support me completely. Could be fun since Christmas apparently gets slow. What I save over the next month should be enough to get me through, I think, and then football season gets into full swing and hopefully that will bring the men out in droves. Unless they are just going to sit and watch the game. They can stay home for that, thanks.

I really need to go and do some corsetry but instead I think I will go watch Pacific Rim.


I finally found a job at a club. It's a total dive but I think I should be able to make a couple hundred each night if I really hustle. I'm super excited but nervous at the same time because I am horrible about social interaction, especially with the opposite sex. Especially hot guys. I also tend to be borderline asexual/everyone is hot but I don't want to have sex, so... yeah. Money. I am in love with your money.

The club is also one of the only full nude that serves alcohol so hopefully the broke college kids won't show up. It's only nude on stage, which is nice, and the stage is separated from the floor by glass so people can't get handsy when your naked. Very nice since while I don't mind getting naked, I certainly don't want people touching me. Dances are fully dressed and contact isn't allowed. No VIP so extras are hopefully very few. The girls were all very nice as well.

What I'm hoping to do is get a bit of experience, slim down, work on my hustle, and then go to one of the topless clubs in town. I really liked one I went to in September but they didn't hire me because I had not experience. I'm hoping I can switch around the New Year but I'm not holding my breath. As long as I make about 500 a week I should break even after taxes. I don't think that's too out of the question since I would have to only go home with 125 after house fees working 4 days a week. Hopefully I can stop working at BBB before Thanksgiving since it might be one of the stores that open at midnight. Blagh.


So I just walked out on one of my jobs and while I feel really bad that all the amazing people who still work there are going to have to cover my shift, I also feel so exhilarated. I hated that place so much. I felt like an animal in a trap and the only things I could do was to either suffer through a painful, lingering death or chew my leg off and hope that the bleeding stop would stop. I decided chewing my leg off would be better. I still have my job that gives me 30 hours so I can pay my rent, car, and credit card with that. It's just everything else that I am going to have to scrape for.

I have wanted to start doing commissions on corset so hopefully that will help and I have also been checking around at some of the strip clubs to see if they have openings. Being able to support myself on only about 24 hrs of work a week would be fantastic, especially since I should be making more stripping than I would at my retail jobs. I could really build a portfolio if I did that. Until next week when I can audition I will just have to work on my corsets so I have some samples. I have so many other project I need to work on and Christmas is coming quickly.


I just offered to donate eggs for a complete stranger. If they don't show an interest I'm going to sign up with a couple clinics. My life just got strange, especially since I don't want kinds. I'm kinda anxious. I know I have attractive qualities but sometimes I forget that and keep asking myself why someone would want my genes in their kids. Now if you will excuse me I need to put my clothing away Goddamn it and fret.